for ididntrun

[spikedbats]

[ The first time it happened, Steve chalked it up to a fluke. What else could it have been? Clearly he had dreamt of their attempted attack on Vecna, and when he woke up to Dustin kicking him awake, that they would get it right that time and they would move on, with that initial failure being nothing but a bad nightmare, a fluke of the imagination.

Only it wasn't just one time. The chimes went off again, with the reminder of what they meant for Max. And then Eddie's blood would stain his hands, and he would rush to the nearest bathroom to scrub them off, suddenly incapable of drawing in breaths. And then he would fall asleep next to Robin, and wake up with Dustin kicking him awake once more.

It wasn't until the fourth time that he realized if he kept doing the same thing, that he would never get out of this hell.

He tried little things at first. Switching the order of things before they make it to the War Zone. Letting Eddie drive. Staying in the bus with Eddie while everyone else stocks up on supplies.

But still, Eddie sacrifices himself, and Lucas can never get to Max in time to save her.

It had to have been fifteen times when Steve started to question why. Why him? Why was he the only one who knew they were reliving the same events over and over, desperate to get it right? ]

I don't know if I can watch him die anymore... [ Words that he had uttered to Robin one loop, even if she promptly forgot them the next time he woke up. But at least she held onto those words long enough to ask him, why do you think it hurts so much?

The next loop he kissed Eddie for the first time, only for Eddie to sacrifice himself again. When Steve woke up and Eddie didn't remember any of it, Steve sprinted outside to let out the most guttural yell he could muster.

And all of that culminating to this. His master plan. He had figured out the basics: he needed to warn Erica about the hick that walked his dog by the Creel house; no matter what happened, something would always trigger the vines in the Creel house, but at the same time every loop something caused them to let go; if Eddie and Dustin were the distraction, he would buy Steve more time, every single time.

So, Steve convinces them again. That he's gone through this before, citing all the things he's learned each loop. How Lucas got Max a first edition Wonder Woman comic at a yard sale. Nancy wanted to intern for the Boston Globe. Dustin has a lucky d20 that frequently rolls a 19, and it's blue with white numbers. Eddie claims he doesn't care where he moves to so long as it's not in Indiana and he can drive back to Hawkins to visit Wayne within a day. Eddie learned Master of Puppets in a week after it came out, recording it onto a blank cassette so he could play it over and over, learning each chord. If Corroded Coffin doesn't pan out, he wants to work for a recording studio, even it's just to shadow someone, just to get access to that studio. Eddie wants, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

It works, and they're convinced. Steve takes Nancy and Eddie with him to the Creel house in the Upside Down and warns Erica to stay out of sight until the dog walker is gone. Robin and Dustin are to rig one of Eddie's speakers to play on top of the trailer in the Upside Down and reinforce every single fucking possible vent so that they don't have to worry about any bats getting through.

And yet, Steve doesn't feel convinced that this is going to work. But he knows, if it doesn't, he's out of ideas. It has to work. And if it doesn't? ]

Munson, you okay? [ Nancy has given them some breathing room on their long march to the Creel house. He suspects she knows despite Steve not having to say anything. Something about the way Steve looks at Eddie must be extremely obvious. Perhaps because it's the way Steve used to look at Nancy, when he was in love with her. ] We're almost there. We can do this. [ That might be more for his sake than for Eddie's. ]

Comments

[spikedbats]

[ Steve is kicking himself right now, because of course he didn't account for this, that eventually Vecna would realize that Steve has been messing with time somehow. But there was simply no way he could have predicted that he wouldn't have been too preoccupied with Max to then chase after Steve instead.

While Steve is frozen in place, starting to levitate in reality, the Steve in his mind is running for the door to the Creel House, finding it locked, with Vecna's horrible voice calling to him. Vecna mocks him, throws everything he can at him: his parents, Tommy Hagan, Billy Hargrove, even Nancy and Barb. When he does finally find a door he can use to get out of here, he's thrown right into his own house, though it looks more decrepit and run down, like it's decayed in the time Steve has been in the Upside Down.

His parents taunt him, point out all his weaknesses and his insecurities, and Steve almost gives up, because he knows he's not strong. He's supposed to protect the others, but he couldn't even do that, couldn't protect Eddie all this time, and --

Eddie. He has to keep fighting. He can't leave him, not now, not when they're finally starting to figure all of this out.

So he stops and he thinks, conjuring up every happy memory he can. His first kiss with Nancy; walking down the train tracks with Dustin, setting out bait for Dart; meeting Max for the first time; driving Dustin to the Snow Ball; bathroom confessionals with Robin; his first time meeting Eddie, his first time kissing Eddie, his first time --

When he opens his eyes he's in a different memory. He's in Eddie's trailer, and Vecna is nowhere to be found. Cautiously, he approaches Eddie's bed, sits down on it, and looks around to take in his surroundings. It looks even nicer than he remembers it. Before Chrissy died on the ceiling. He and Eddie had snuck in here one loop under the pretense of changing Steve's bandages, and had wound up fooling around. That brings a smile to Steve's face, and he brings his fingers up to his lips as he can practically feel Eddie's lips as if they had just kissed moments ago. ]

You're not Max.

[ El's voice startles him, and Steve's head jerks to the side when he spots her in the doorway. He relaxes when he realizes that she's not Vecna. ]

Sorry to disappoint. Guess he didn't want her after all.