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for bigboyvibes

[ After his first attempt at senior year ended in failures all around, Eddie hasn't exactly been enthusiastic about coming back to Hawkins High. He's done his hardest to stick to the background whenever possible, not trying to start shit with the clear turf war that seems to be brewing with Billy Hargrove and Tommy Hagan. And while he's got his band and the D&D club, that still leaves him alone at lunch most days.

With a sigh, Eddie plops himself down and tries his hardest to eat in peace. No standing up on tables, saying fuck you to the man and to conformity. No, he just wants to get through this year and pretend like he wasn't supposed to graduate last year.

For the most part, everyone leaves him alone. They know better than to upset the balance, because Eddie provides the party favors. But he doesn't want to test his luck, either. Who knows when they'll deem him and his services no longer necessary?

The perks of selling to the elite, does mean that he can see that shit is definitely going down. Harrington has been out of commission for a while, and Billy Hargrove was out for a couple days before returning with a suspiciously black eye. The two might not be connected, but then again, perhaps it was?

He'll probably never find out, though. Steve Harrington doesn't exactly tolerate his presence, never has, and never will. He might not wear a crown any longer, but Eddie still knows his place among the plebians of Hawkins High.

There are rumblings, that it has something to do with the whole Wheeler and Byers situation, but Eddie isn't going to speculate there. He does find it kind of weird that Wheeler left Harrington for Byers, but he knows better than to try and figure out the truth. That's just going to lead Eddie to death threats and nothing more.

He's just popping a grape in his mouth when Harrington walks into the cafeteria and --

holy shit, he looks like he had the shit kicked out of him at one point. What the fuck? He tries to look away quickly, because he just knows he's going to get a smartass comment if Steve sees that he's been staring. But he does nearly choke on the grape in the process, needing to pound his fist against his chest to get it to dislodge. What the fuck. ]

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[It would be cleansing to just spill his guts, put everything out on the table for Eddie to hear. Shit, it would be comforting just to have someone to listen and share his horrors with. Only being open about the monsters that once roamed Hawkins would come with dire consequences. Steve couldn't place that trauma upon Eddie just because he really needed a friend that wasn't a group of young kids.

He still hasn't figured out why the other was being so nice to him after the huge dick Steve had been for the sake of his own status. He doesn't want Eddie showing him pity like every other person in Hawkins just because Steve tumbled from the his throne or he heard about the fight with Hargrove.

Steve can feel his body grow hot as Eddie invades his personal space, the blunt now pressed back against his own lips. He just wants to fucking forget about everything that has went to shit within his life. He wants to forget about fucking Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers. He wants to clear his mind of those damn monsters and how Nancy blames him for Barb's death even now.

He takes another long drawl from the joint and this time he doesn't make a complete fool of himself as he blows the smoke from his lips. He's beginning to feel that familiar fuzzy feeling embrace him warmly and leave his head swimming.

Shit.

Yeah, this weed was some strong but amazing stuff.]

You don't got to be so nice, Munson.

[ Eddie's not even sure why he's being so nice to Steve. He doesn't usually go out of his way to make sure his potential long term customers get home safe or any of that bullshit, and here he was taking care of Steve and letting him stay way longer than he usually liked. Even smoking from his own personal stash.

But even without walking in Steve's shoes in the literal sense, he has an idea of what it's like. Maybe Eddie should have ignored Steve, but there's something about him that has caught Eddie's interest and now he's hooked. He wants to know what's been scaring him to the point where he had been trembling over a flickering light.

And a tiny bit of him maybe wants to keep Steve safe. ]

Yeah, I don't have to, but I want to. [ He hesitates for a moment, thinking of leaving it at that, but the weed has loosened his tongue a bit more than he'd like, and so he continues on. ] I know what it's like to be utterly and completely alone, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. So sue me, you look like you could use a friend. And yeah, you can pretend you don't know me when we go back to school tomorrow, but-- [ If tears are stinging his eyes, he's just going to blame it on the weed. ] Maybe I could use a friend, too.

[There once was a time anyone would jump at the opportunity for Steve to even acknowledge them as a person that alone call them a friend. It still baffles him how that all turned with a snap of fingers. Now it seemed like he was just a nobody, a washed up pretty boy who once had it all. Plenty of times thw thought crossed Steve's mind that this was all his punishment. Karma for being a total dick and shit person. For all those times he hurt Nancy and wouldn't accept her guilt for the death of Barbara. For the cruel things he said about the Byers.

Things had just been shit for him since '83.

He turns his head to gaze at the boy best known as "the freak." Steve had never given Eddie much attention and not once did it ever cross his mind that Eddie was alone too. Eddie's words hit like a punch to the gut and Steve turns his head quickly away in shame.]

Maybe I could use a friend, too.

[Fuck this goddamn weed for prying him open and ripping down the walls he's built around himself in order to block out this whole fucking world. Christ, why did those words sting so much? Steve's never really cared about anyone else's feelings before but Eddie’s reply leaves his stomach in tight knots.

Thankfully he hasn't noticed those glassy eyes or he would feel like the biggest douche in all of Hawkins. ]

Incase you didn't hear or missed the memo I'm a real shit person, Munson. Shitty friend is on the list.

[ Eddie rolls his eyes at Steve. He's learned long ago not to trust the rumor mill, considering how many of those rumors are about him. So why would he start now? He hated whoever made Steve believe he was, at his core, a shit person. ]

Everyone deserves a second chance, Harrington. Yes, even you. I'm not Tommy Hagan or Nancy Wheeler. I don't know what you did, and frankly I don't care. It's none of my business. But no matter what shitty stuff you pulled in the past, I'm willing to give you a chance to prove you aren't the shitty friend everyone insists you are.

[ He huffs as he takes another hit before offering it back to Steve. ]

Besides, wouldn't it be a real insult to Tommy Hagan that you left him for the likes of me? [ He can't help but smirk at that. ]

[Eddie has got to be pretty damn high right now or maybe he does actually pity Steve? Steve doesn't want pity, it's pathetic and he hates those looks he gets in the hallways. Why in the hell would Eddie "The Freak" Munson want to be his friend? Especially after how Tommy would treat him.

His body stiffens at the mention of Nancy Wheeler. He would rather not hear her name if that were all possible but that's the joke, right? She left him for fucking Jonathan Byers.

Jesus Christ. ]

Think that weed has your head fucked up already, Munson.

[He makes a face at the mention of Tommy Hagan. It stings a bit to know that the two were friends once and that was something Steve had tossed out the window when it came to Nancy. Sometimes he can't help but wonder if the sacrifice was even worth it.

Because now? He was alone. ]

Sure he's too busy choking on Hargrove's dick to notice.

( Eddie rolls his eyes at Steve, but fixes him with an amused look. As if Eddie isn't a pretty known pothead and drug dealer and doesn't have a pretty decent tolerance. But even so, he knows that the likes of him doesn't usually tangle with the likes of Steve. His reasons are something he'd like to keep close to his chest. No matter how changed Steve seems to be, it's dangerous to be that truthful around here. )

Nah, not yet anyway.

( Speaking of choking, that's exactly what Eddie is doing at the mention of Billy and Tommy's apparent kinship. His eyes light up with even more amusement as his lips curve into a grin. )

I'd say make them notice but that might be a death sentence for us both, so maybe not.

[Steve fixes Eddie with a look right back. He's not about to admit it but Eddie’s overall charismatic personality is refreshing. The well known freak sure doesn't hesitate to speak his mind and oddly enough Steve has found himself appreciating the honesty. Steve doesn't know if Eddie will offer him any more moments like this, they were never in the same social crowd but just having someone to actually talk too that was around his own age had been pretty damn helpful.

Especially after how the past year has been. The huge breakup with Nancy, the fight with Byers, learning that the town has horrifying monsters and the huge fight with Billy. It's a wonder Steve hadn't went postal on the whole goddamn town.

It still feels a bit foreign to insult someone he used to call his best friend but his friend with Tommy had ended so abruptly. And for what? A girl that ended up cheating on him in the end. Despite their huge falling out, Steve was a bit offended when Tommy tucked his tail and ran straight to Billy. ]

They don't scare me.

[They never had. ]

( Eddie raises an eyebrow at Steve's declaration. Curious that they don't scare Steve, but there clearly is something out there that does. And maybe that's the point, that there is something out there that's scarier than a couple of high school bullies. )

Yeah, they never really scared me either, if we're being honest.

( Billy, maybe, he does seem like he doesn't know where to draw the line, but Tommy? Tommy always seemed harmless, more like a lapdog than someone with any real bite. )

Well, I'm glad you came over here, man. Even if it was just to, you know, buy drugs, don't usually get too many house calls these days.

[That's because there is something far worse out there than a couple of high school assholes and Steve has faced off with both. Billy might be a goddamn psychopath but he didn't have the ability to rip anybody apart with his own hands. He would rather bash you over the head with a plate. ]

Hargrove fights dirty and Tommy is nothing but mouth.

[Steve would take them both head on if that meant he would never have to face a damn demogorgon again. ]

Thanks for not asking a million questions because I needed to buy the drugs. Tried talking myself out of it but-

( That checks out. Billy never seemed like the type to fight fair, and Tommy never hassled him beyond what he could get away with. It's never a good idea to piss off your supplier, after all. )

Listen, I'm not gonna pretend I'm not worried, but, well. You really seem like you could use a pretty damn long vacation. And since I doubt you can do that, this is the next best thing.

[None of it really matters does it? Billy only seemed to have it out for Steve and Tommy wouldn't be stupid enough to go after the top supplier of Hawkins High if not all of Hawkins. At least in the back of his mind they better not go after Eddie.

Steve has no idea why that's a sudden concern now.

He scrunches his face at Eddie's voiced concern, followed by a shake of his head. Eddie doesn't need to concern himself with the likes of Steve Harrington. Save yourself, Munson.]

You know I wish I really could get the hell out of here as stupid as that sounds. Just say the hell with this place, the people, the bullshit.....

( Eddie's face softens when Steve talks about getting out of Hawkins. It's something Eddie has thought about often. Especially after being told he failed too many classes last year, would have to do senior year all over again. The absolute hell he had been put through when he showed up in September after being so certain he was done with this place, only to face the jocks that were all too happy to rub in just how much of a failure he is. )

That doesn't sound stupid at all. That's exactly what I want. Wish I didn't have to go to school anymore so I could just get the hell out of here.

( It isn't the first time he's mentioned that to anyone, but it surprises him how easily he admits it to Steve, who he would have expected to be one of those people rubbing it in his face, how much of a waste of space Eddie is. Now he just wonders what had happened to Steve to cause the change of heart. )

[Unfortunately Steve isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Come to find out he's too stupid for college and his dad has made sure to remind him how much of a failure he's been lately. He's also made it clear that Steve is going to have to get a real job and he isn't going to help his son come college wise. Steve can't say he isn't surprised but that doesn't make the sting of a harsh reality ease any less. Steve just feels worthless as much as he does humiliated.

Maybe this is his karma? Forever stuck as a loser in Hawkins.]

I was an idiot to think it would be that easy.

[He turns his gaze towards Eddie as the other admits that he wants the exact same thing. Say fuck Hawkins and find somewhere worthy of planting roots. A place that isn't full of cheating girlfriends, annoying alphas and terrifying monsters.]

( Eddie is surprised at himself for feeling the amount of sympathy he does for Steve, when he used to envy him. Maybe it's because he knows how it feels, to be stuck in place with no hope of escaping anytime soon. )

I don't think you're that much of an idiot. Everyone else just makes it look that easy. Like school is just that simple, and everyone will succeed just so long as they do exactly what's expected of them.

( He shrugs. It's a tale as old as time. Only a select few get to join the elite, and everyone else gets to stay at the bottom of the food chain for eternity. It's why he hates the whole idea of conformity. It doesn't matter what clothes you wear and if you study hard enough if everyone else around you has decided you're not worth it. )

For what it's worth, it's startin' to look like I might be stuck here, too. Again.

[Given his current position, Steve wouldn't say he was anyone to be envied. His popularity was thrilling while he was king but now he feels like all of it was pointless. He got nothing out of it and looking back he's realized what a real failure he's been on top of a major asshole. The echo of his dad's voice never fails to remind him that he's amounted to nothing.

Steve Harrington was no one special. The world was making sure of that. Karma 101. ]

It's all bullshit regardless.

[Apparently Steve wasn't worth it. Not to Hawkins High, a future, Nancy....]

You get pretty bored, huh?

[Because Eddie Munson definitely wasn't stupid.]

( Eddie might argue that, but he might also be biased. Steve Harrington is special in his own way, though maybe that's just Eddie's horniness insisting he must because otherwise why would he be so attracted to him?

He will agree with him that it's bullshit, though. Everything from the homework to the sports to the extracurricular activities, all designed to make people subservient. Fuck the man. )

Yeah, well, school's just boring like that. I can read, write, do math. I mean, I got all this way, so clearly I can. Just, I don't know. Something clicked and I stopped caring.

( Maybe, a tiny piece of Eddie is terrified that if he leaves Hawkins he will fail and turn out just like his dad. At least stuck in school, he can't do much more harm to himself...right? )

[Really he isn't. He got cheated on by a girl he actually gave his heart too, attacked by some major asshole who was about to attack some innocent kids and apparently he was cursed by the Upside Down because it didn't seem like these monsters were going away. Not that he could tell any of this to Eddie.

Again, this has to be his own form of karma from years of being a total asshole, right? Everyone seemed to be getting out of this shit town but him. It was unfair and pretty damn embarrassing. ]

You aren't stupid....

[The words come spilling out before Steve can hold himself back. So many viewed Eddie as such, a worthless burnout. Eddie wasn't any of those stereotypes and he sure as hell had more common sense that half of Hawkins top notches.

Shit.

Steve feels a bit embarrassed now and his head drops to stare down at his hands. ]

( Eddie doesn't expect to hear that from Steve. He turns to look at Steve, confused expression on his face, almost like he isn't sure he heard him correctly. But judging by Steve's reaction, he must have heard correctly.

He reaches a hand out towards Steve, not sure if touch would even be welcome, but dammit if he doesn't want to lay a hand on Steve's shoulder to reassure him that it was okay. He lets his hand drop before it gets to Steve's shoulder and he looks away. )

Thanks, man. At least someone thinks so. Wish you could convince my teachers.

[Steve is just as surprised as Eddie here but that doesn't mean his words aren't genuine. Eddie wasn't ignorant by any means. School just seemed like a place that couldn't hold his attention and Steve related to that himself. His mind had always been on girls, sex. Lately his thoughts were plagued with nightmares and a slight bitterness towards Wheeler.

He doesn't notice Eddie's extended hand but he would have welcomed it. ]

I am though. The universe has made that pretty fucking clear.

[But this isn't about him.]

( Eddie frowns at that, not realizing just how down on himself Steve had become. The universe really has done a number on him for him to think that. )

I don't think you are.

( He tries again, this time letting his hand rest on Steve's arm, as if by touch alone he might be able to convince Steve what he thinks of him is genuine. Which is maybe foolish, considering before all of this with Billy he didn't want anything to do with Steve, but now?

Now he finds himself enjoying Steve's company. )

I don't think you're stupid at all.

(Steve isn't here to wollow in his own self pity or have people feel sorry for him. He's never been the kind of guy to want that from anyone but also no one has ever felt sorry for King Steve, the well known playboy that had it all and more. Steve's confidence had taken a harsh hit since the breakup with Nancy Wheeler and he had been left with the feeling of pure hollowness.

He didn't matter to her. He never had. That's what he gets for actually making a goddamn connection with a girl instead of just sleeping with her and calling it.

The touch on his arm startles Steve for a second, head tilting to look back at Eddie. He still doesn't understand why the other is actually offering him kindness, why he isn't telling Steve to just fuck off because he's a douche.

Instead Eddie tries to offer a bit of comfort and those fingers against his skin feels-

Different.)

I am. Learned that the hard way. Not that I was ever smart but-

( Eddie frowns. He doesn't know how to convince Steve, or if it even really is his burden to bear. Why he feels so strongly like he needs to prove to Steve that he's not stupid, he doesn't know, but maybe a part of Steve's current spiral reminds him of how he had been before he found his band, before he stumbled across Hellfire and wound up taking over as DM after the previous one graduated.

Maybe Steve just needs a little helping hand. )

Dude, are you kidding? You are smart. Maybe not, like, valedictorian smart, but I mean. You're on track to graduate on time, right?

( Unlike Eddie, who is on his second attempt at senior year. At least it means Eddie and Steve are in the same graduating class now. This is gonna be his year, he can feel it. )

You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna show all those idiots that they were fools to underestimate you, I can feel it.

(His voice comes out a bit harsher than he attended. He knows that Eddie is only trying to lift his spirit but Steve is sick of people telling him he's worth a shit when he really isn't. There had been a period in his life where he actually fell for the whole having a purpose in life bullshit but in all reality he doesn't. He's not going off to some rich, famous college far from Hawkins, he hasn't landed himself this amazing job and he sure as hell doesn't have a pretty girl to settle down with.

He's stuck here. He's always going to be stuck here. Well, if the Upside Down doesn't knock him off first.)

I'm going to be fucking stuck here with some dead-end pointless job going nowhere. That's where I'm fucking going to be.

(Better known as a major failure. Just another pretty boy that peaked in High School and was now a huge loser.

What a fucking life. Doesn't get any better than this. )

Edited 2023-05-22 20:24 (UTC)

( Eddie goes quiet after that. He frowns, not really sure what to say. Maybe there isn't anything he can say to make it better. He sighs as he rubs a hand down his face. )

If that happens, you won't be alone, you know? Pretty sure I'm going to be in the same boat.

( Maybe Eddie isn't stupid, but that doesn't mean the rest of the world wasn't willing to give him a chance. He might as well accept that if he doesn't graduate, he is going to end up stuck here. )

(Steve is slowly learning that the world is pure shit and it isn't fair. There would be a time he would argue and gloat that the world was made for a young man like him to thrive and achieve. What fucking bullshit. All of it. Eddie's response pulls him out of his own head.)

Don't you have a band or something?

(Eddie Munson doesn't seem the type to not have this huge, insane and wild dream he wants to achieve. He also doesn't se the kind to just be stuck in Hawkins all his life. )

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