[ if anything, the guilt just keeps getting piled on with the more steve speaks. he knows he was being selfish when he decided to leave in the middle of the night. he had spent the better part of the last several months pushing thoughts deep into the crevices of his mind, where he hoped never to think about that part of himself ever again.

so now that he's being forced to face all of his shortcomings, he can feel himself go immediately nauseated, his eyes starting to sting at the mention of dustin. he stays quiet throughout steve's confrontation, hugging himself tightly as the fight just slowly leaves him, until all that's left is that empty shell of a man that had been discharged from the hospital post being chewed by bats.

each an every thing steve said just made eddie wince more and more, but it's his last statement that causes a strangled noise to slip out of his mouth. ]

I needed to get out of there, Harrington. [ he risks turning to look at steve, regretting that immediately as he feels himself crumble at the way he's looking at him, reminding him all too much like the way his old man used to look at him, before he fucked off and got himself imprisoned for years. ] I knew if I made plans, if I tried to say goodbye, I would never follow through.

[ he sighs, taking a few steps back until he's backed against the wall, sliding down so that he can pull his knees to his chest and rest his chin on his knees. ] Don't know why you're surprised though. Isn't that all I'm good at, running? [ the laugh that follows is self deprecating at its finest. ] I thought if I ran far enough away, I could trick myself into thinking I could just be normal somewhere. No monsters, no assholes slashing my tires, just me being some anonymous freak in the big city. [ the next sound that comes out sounds almost like a sob threatening to slip out. ] I'm sorry that I scared you guys. I didn't mean to freak Dustin, or anyone out.