( the recognition on eddie's face when he looks up is all the answer steve needs, even before eddie explains himself. and the explanation is...not at all what steve expected. he's not sure what he expected, but a nightmare—about steve—that shook eddie so bad he risked making contact, was nowhere on the list. really, steve shouldn't be surprised. it would be more surprising if none of them ever had any nightmares, after the things they've seen. steve would be lying if he said he'd never had nightmares of dying in the upside down, or of watching one of his friends die. or all of them die, eddie included.
eddie says, i needed to hear your voice, and something inside steve breaks, just a little. just a hairline fracture that causes a twinge in his chest. his expression softens, and what's left of his anger completely dissipates, exiting his body as he sighs. what steve had only been able to guess at before seems clear as day now. how deeply eddie was affected by the whole thing with vecna and the upside down. none of them realized. steve didn't realize. but he should've known. no normal person could go through what eddie went through and come out the other side okay. and for all of eddie's counterculture posturing, he's really as normal as they come. steve wonders what it says about him, that he's gone around this carousel not once, but four times, and never thought to leave hawkins. at least, not seriously. maybe steve is the real freak.
after a moment, steve moves to sit on the floor, against the wall, beside eddie. there would've been a time when he wouldn't have dreamed of sitting on a dirty garage floor in his jeans, and if it weren't for this particular set of circumstances, he probably still wouldn't. he pushes a hand through his hair, and then rests his arms on top of his knees.
he looks sideways at eddie, then lowers his gaze. ) Look, man... Truth is, I don't blame you for getting out. Hawkins is...cursed. It's fucked up. And it just keeps getting more fucked up, no matter how many times we try to save it. So—I get it.
( that broken thing inside his chest cracks a little more. his voice softens. )
I just wish you'd said goodbye. ( he pauses. ) To Dustin. He... He's been really messed up over it. I mean, everyone has.
( another pause. he feels dangerously close to admitting something, but he's not sure what. so he says instead, )
I'm sorry I called you an idiot. You're not an idiot for leaving. Really, you're smarter than the rest of us.
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eddie says, i needed to hear your voice, and something inside steve breaks, just a little. just a hairline fracture that causes a twinge in his chest. his expression softens, and what's left of his anger completely dissipates, exiting his body as he sighs. what steve had only been able to guess at before seems clear as day now. how deeply eddie was affected by the whole thing with vecna and the upside down. none of them realized. steve didn't realize. but he should've known. no normal person could go through what eddie went through and come out the other side okay. and for all of eddie's counterculture posturing, he's really as normal as they come. steve wonders what it says about him, that he's gone around this carousel not once, but four times, and never thought to leave hawkins. at least, not seriously. maybe steve is the real freak.
after a moment, steve moves to sit on the floor, against the wall, beside eddie. there would've been a time when he wouldn't have dreamed of sitting on a dirty garage floor in his jeans, and if it weren't for this particular set of circumstances, he probably still wouldn't. he pushes a hand through his hair, and then rests his arms on top of his knees.
he looks sideways at eddie, then lowers his gaze. ) Look, man... Truth is, I don't blame you for getting out. Hawkins is...cursed. It's fucked up. And it just keeps getting more fucked up, no matter how many times we try to save it. So—I get it.
( that broken thing inside his chest cracks a little more. his voice softens. )
I just wish you'd said goodbye. ( he pauses. ) To Dustin. He... He's been really messed up over it. I mean, everyone has.
( another pause. he feels dangerously close to admitting something, but he's not sure what. so he says instead, )
I'm sorry I called you an idiot. You're not an idiot for leaving. Really, you're smarter than the rest of us.