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for bigboyvibes

[ After his first attempt at senior year ended in failures all around, Eddie hasn't exactly been enthusiastic about coming back to Hawkins High. He's done his hardest to stick to the background whenever possible, not trying to start shit with the clear turf war that seems to be brewing with Billy Hargrove and Tommy Hagan. And while he's got his band and the D&D club, that still leaves him alone at lunch most days.

With a sigh, Eddie plops himself down and tries his hardest to eat in peace. No standing up on tables, saying fuck you to the man and to conformity. No, he just wants to get through this year and pretend like he wasn't supposed to graduate last year.

For the most part, everyone leaves him alone. They know better than to upset the balance, because Eddie provides the party favors. But he doesn't want to test his luck, either. Who knows when they'll deem him and his services no longer necessary?

The perks of selling to the elite, does mean that he can see that shit is definitely going down. Harrington has been out of commission for a while, and Billy Hargrove was out for a couple days before returning with a suspiciously black eye. The two might not be connected, but then again, perhaps it was?

He'll probably never find out, though. Steve Harrington doesn't exactly tolerate his presence, never has, and never will. He might not wear a crown any longer, but Eddie still knows his place among the plebians of Hawkins High.

There are rumblings, that it has something to do with the whole Wheeler and Byers situation, but Eddie isn't going to speculate there. He does find it kind of weird that Wheeler left Harrington for Byers, but he knows better than to try and figure out the truth. That's just going to lead Eddie to death threats and nothing more.

He's just popping a grape in his mouth when Harrington walks into the cafeteria and --

holy shit, he looks like he had the shit kicked out of him at one point. What the fuck? He tries to look away quickly, because he just knows he's going to get a smartass comment if Steve sees that he's been staring. But he does nearly choke on the grape in the process, needing to pound his fist against his chest to get it to dislodge. What the fuck. ]

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[The world around him suddenly stops and there is nothing but flashing lights mixed with the shadows of the demogorgon. He can hear the monster breathing heavily within his ears and the horrible screeching it would let out each time Steve would smash it with the bat. The sound of bones crunching, spit flying.

He feels light headed and the air feels like its been knocked clear from his chest. His ribs feel like they're being crushed as the apparent panic attack takes its hold and Steve struggles to breathe properly. It become evident as he begins to struggle for breath and his other hand pulls frantically at his shirt.

The monster isn't here. It's gone. It was destroyed. Everything is perfectly fine, its over.

It's over.

Steve's eyes flutter open but he gives nothing but a hollow stare at Eddie, the metalhead's voice sounds like it's a million miles away and faint against his ears. ]

It's not here....

[He whispers lowly with a shake of his head.].

It's not here.

[ Eddie's eyes widen as he watches the way Steve retreats in on himself, the way the panic seems to take a hold on him. This goes beyond just getting into whatever scuffles he managed to get into with Hargrove and Byers. This is some serious PTSD shit.

Like how his old man would get sometimes, when he felt like he was back in the war. And how dangerous that had been, but Steve isn't his estranged father, and Steve hadn't been in a war.

At least, he's pretty sure he wasn't. ]

I don't know what it is you think would be here, but I promise you, Harrington, it's just little ol' me.

[ He isn't sure if he's actually helping, but he's not about to leave Steve like this. So he just tries to stand in front of Steve, reaching out for his wrist in an attempt to give him something to ground himself. ]

Come back to me, Steve...

[Steve is currently stuck in his own head, in that terrifying moment that took a hold on his life and changed a good portion of not only himself but his mental being. It's one thing to be scared of monsters when you're little but it's a whole new ballgame when you learn that those monsters are actually very much real.

And out to kill you.

Steve is waiting for another monster to fall from the ceiling at any given second or worse, suddenly appear behind Eddie in a fit of rage. Steve has a bit of experience battling one so surely he could fight off another, right?

He would have to if that meant keeping Eddie safe.

The sudden grab to his wrist startles Steve for a second, he even jumps slightly but his eyes remain to focus on the other teen standing directly in front of him. The softness of Eddie's voice and the gentle words yank Steve back into reality.

He blinks his eyes a little and it takes him a good minute to realize where he is, still is.]

H-Huh?

[ It scares Eddie, to see what happened to Steve for a moment there. He isn't sure what he should do or say now that it looks like Steve is back to reality.

He still looks terrified, and Eddie worried one wrong move will have Steve bolting. ]

You were gone there for a second. Kept saying "it's not here, it's not here." [ He frowns as he lets go of Steve reluctantly. As much as he would love to keep him anchored here, he fears that when Steve realizes he's been physically touching Steve, that will just cause Steve to blow him off, find some other drug dealer to give him ketamine. ]

Are you...are you sure you're good to go?

[Well, that was fucking embarrassing now that Steve has tumbled back into reality and is now aware of his surrounding. He blinks his eyes a few times just to be sure that both of them are safe and the lights flickering was an accident.

Shit. He feels like a complete idiot right now and he's sure Eddie thinks that he's insane. Both hands drag down his still bruised face as he tries to sooth himself down from his near panic attack.

He clears his throat after a moment passes.]

Uh? Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. I just need a moment if that's cool? Then I'll be outta here.

[ Strangely enough, Eddie doesn't think he's insane. Probably because he's been in Steve's shoes, to a point. The strangest things can be triggering. Eddie's even spent the first few weeks living with Uncle Wayne refusing to leave the trailer for fear of what might trigger him if he dared to step outside the safety of its walls. ]

Take all the time you need. [ Eddie offers a weak smile, gesturing towards the living room. ] You can sit on the couch if you want. You want water or something?

[ He's sympathetic, is what it boils down to. Whatever Steve is going through, it seems like he is going through it alone, and Eddie just wishes he knew what to say to help Steve feel like he can be safe here. But, he also knows it takes time to earn that kind of trust, so he can't fault Steve for just wanting to get to some place where he will be safe. ]

[The monster isn't here. Steve was perfectly safe as was Eddie. But that reassurance doesn't stop Steve's heart from beating uncontrollably against his ears or the twisted knots that's formed within his tight abdomen. Clearly he feels embarrassed with the way his hands drag down his still wounded face as he tries to gather himself. He doesn't even know how to begin apologizing or explaining himself.

Too his surprise Eddie seems more focused on Steve's well being instead of an explanation. ]

Thanks.

[He's hesitant going into the living room at first, eyes flickering back up at the ceiling and around the room as if he were still waiting for the creature to show itself. A few minutes pass before Steve proceeds towards the couch, fingers tugging anxiously along the sleeve of his shirt. His heart has yet to fall back into normal rhythm but at least his breathing is steady.

His hands begin to clinch into fists as he falls back along the sofa. He doesn't need to fret over the safety of the kids, they were fine. The monsters were gone, right?

Right.]

About that weed?

[ As far as Eddie's concerned, he doesn't need an explanation from Steve. He's not sure he's going to like what that explanation is. It's enough to see Steve spooked as if he had seen a ghost...or worse. And maybe he had. Hawkins was supposedly cursed, right?

It certainly felt like it sometimes. ]

Of course man, it's on the house. [ He smiles weakly as he fumbles to open his lunchbox where he keeps the pre-portioned bags, grabbing one so that they could split it right then and there.

With skilled fingers that have clearly done this time and again, he quickly grinds the marijuana into a finer texture and filled the rolling paper with it, licking a strip across the paper to secure it in place. He offers it to Steve to take the first hit, brandishing his lighter. ]

[Cursed was a damn good word for it. Steve doesn't know if Eddie knows anything about the darkness that lurks within Hawkins and if he knows anything, Steve doesn't know how much but almost everyone in town had heard stories, noticed the people gone missing. Steve sure is hell isn't going to blurt out what he's faced, what he's fought against for the sake of Eddie's own sanity. Eddie doesn't deserve to be dragged into the chaos and horror.

Besides, it's all over right?

Steve tries not to take much interest in the way Eddie so perfectly rolls the joint as though it's second nature. He tries not to watch how Eddie's tongue flicks across the paper carefully and precise. How it leaves his cheeks a bit warm to the point he ducks his head slightly as he waits. ]

Thanks.

[It's a soft mumble as he hands reach out to get the joint started and once lit, Steve takes a long hit off it. Within the seconds the familiar burn settles within his lungs and he begins to cough lightly.

Shit.]

Christ, that's strong Munson.

[ All Eddie knows is that a kid who went missing had a funeral and then suddenly came back to life. On top of that, there had been an issue with the pumpkins, which resulted in Wayne and Eddie having to drive to the next town over just to pick up Halloween decorations. But it's not like Eddie knows the truth of what happened to Will, or to Barb, or has an inkling why Steve might be having such bad reactions to flickering lights.

Weed is a good distraction, though, and one that Eddie is happy to provide. He grins as he watches Steve take the first hit, and he pats Steve's back, encouraging him to cough it out. ]

Yeah, I got a better supply since the last time you probably smoked my stuff. [ He's not dumb; Tommy Hagan used to buy from him, so it's likely that Steve would have smoked with him. ] But it's good, right? Makes you feel nice? [ He plucks the joint out from Steve's hand, their fingers brushing slightly in the process. He leans back against the couch as he draws in a nice long hit, lets it sit in his lungs for a bit before exhaling slowly, watching the stream of smoke as it leaves his mouth. ]

[Steve isn't going to start spouting off about what really happened to Will and Barb, Eddie would think him insane. Yet, he can still hear Nancy's voice echoing within his ears about how they killed Barb. Barb's death was at the fate of the Upside Down but it occurred because she had been left alone. Steve couldn't take that back, he couldn't change the fact that she was gone and Nancy blamed him for it all.

He couldn't share that with Eddie either. Steve was already viewed as the shittiest person to walk Hawkins High.

As for the weed? It was definitely the distraction Steve needed to help ease his nerves and mind. But, it's nicer to be in the comfort of Eddie's company, someone who isn't currently judging him or demanding he leave due to the episode he just had. To Steve's surprise Eddie is being pretty understanding and concerned. It's strange considering Steve's reputation and the fact that he literally has no one these days.

Steve has a few more coughing fits before he eases down, his lungs still tingling from the deep hit. ]

Yeah, no shit.

[He clears his throat before he feels the warmth of Eddie's fingers lightly brush against his own. It has no meaning, just a typical contact but it has Steve turning his head slightly to watch Eddie take his own drag. His eyes watching as the smoke dances along the air once exhaled from Eddie's lips.]

It is pretty damn good though.

[ While Eddie doesn't know the half of what Steve is going through, and even though he's still skeptical about just how changed he is, he's not about to turn his back on the guy when he's clearly in need of some company. If he really wanted to take advantage of the situation, he would have gotten Steve to pay for the weed he was sharing.

But no, he just wants to make sure the guy is safe. Whatever is happening behind the scenes is none of Eddie's business, but nobody deserves to go through whatever it is that had Steve panicking over flickering lights. ]

Mmm. That it is, my friend, that it is. [ He places his hand on Steve's shoulder, almost as if trying to ground him. ] Embrace that fuzzy feeling. Let it take you wherever it wants you to go.

[ He leans a little into Steve, and rather than passing the joint back to Steve, he places the joint at Steve's lips himself. ]

[It would be cleansing to just spill his guts, put everything out on the table for Eddie to hear. Shit, it would be comforting just to have someone to listen and share his horrors with. Only being open about the monsters that once roamed Hawkins would come with dire consequences. Steve couldn't place that trauma upon Eddie just because he really needed a friend that wasn't a group of young kids.

He still hasn't figured out why the other was being so nice to him after the huge dick Steve had been for the sake of his own status. He doesn't want Eddie showing him pity like every other person in Hawkins just because Steve tumbled from the his throne or he heard about the fight with Hargrove.

Steve can feel his body grow hot as Eddie invades his personal space, the blunt now pressed back against his own lips. He just wants to fucking forget about everything that has went to shit within his life. He wants to forget about fucking Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers. He wants to clear his mind of those damn monsters and how Nancy blames him for Barb's death even now.

He takes another long drawl from the joint and this time he doesn't make a complete fool of himself as he blows the smoke from his lips. He's beginning to feel that familiar fuzzy feeling embrace him warmly and leave his head swimming.

Shit.

Yeah, this weed was some strong but amazing stuff.]

You don't got to be so nice, Munson.

[ Eddie's not even sure why he's being so nice to Steve. He doesn't usually go out of his way to make sure his potential long term customers get home safe or any of that bullshit, and here he was taking care of Steve and letting him stay way longer than he usually liked. Even smoking from his own personal stash.

But even without walking in Steve's shoes in the literal sense, he has an idea of what it's like. Maybe Eddie should have ignored Steve, but there's something about him that has caught Eddie's interest and now he's hooked. He wants to know what's been scaring him to the point where he had been trembling over a flickering light.

And a tiny bit of him maybe wants to keep Steve safe. ]

Yeah, I don't have to, but I want to. [ He hesitates for a moment, thinking of leaving it at that, but the weed has loosened his tongue a bit more than he'd like, and so he continues on. ] I know what it's like to be utterly and completely alone, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. So sue me, you look like you could use a friend. And yeah, you can pretend you don't know me when we go back to school tomorrow, but-- [ If tears are stinging his eyes, he's just going to blame it on the weed. ] Maybe I could use a friend, too.

[There once was a time anyone would jump at the opportunity for Steve to even acknowledge them as a person that alone call them a friend. It still baffles him how that all turned with a snap of fingers. Now it seemed like he was just a nobody, a washed up pretty boy who once had it all. Plenty of times thw thought crossed Steve's mind that this was all his punishment. Karma for being a total dick and shit person. For all those times he hurt Nancy and wouldn't accept her guilt for the death of Barbara. For the cruel things he said about the Byers.

Things had just been shit for him since '83.

He turns his head to gaze at the boy best known as "the freak." Steve had never given Eddie much attention and not once did it ever cross his mind that Eddie was alone too. Eddie's words hit like a punch to the gut and Steve turns his head quickly away in shame.]

Maybe I could use a friend, too.

[Fuck this goddamn weed for prying him open and ripping down the walls he's built around himself in order to block out this whole fucking world. Christ, why did those words sting so much? Steve's never really cared about anyone else's feelings before but Eddie’s reply leaves his stomach in tight knots.

Thankfully he hasn't noticed those glassy eyes or he would feel like the biggest douche in all of Hawkins. ]

Incase you didn't hear or missed the memo I'm a real shit person, Munson. Shitty friend is on the list.

[ Eddie rolls his eyes at Steve. He's learned long ago not to trust the rumor mill, considering how many of those rumors are about him. So why would he start now? He hated whoever made Steve believe he was, at his core, a shit person. ]

Everyone deserves a second chance, Harrington. Yes, even you. I'm not Tommy Hagan or Nancy Wheeler. I don't know what you did, and frankly I don't care. It's none of my business. But no matter what shitty stuff you pulled in the past, I'm willing to give you a chance to prove you aren't the shitty friend everyone insists you are.

[ He huffs as he takes another hit before offering it back to Steve. ]

Besides, wouldn't it be a real insult to Tommy Hagan that you left him for the likes of me? [ He can't help but smirk at that. ]

[Eddie has got to be pretty damn high right now or maybe he does actually pity Steve? Steve doesn't want pity, it's pathetic and he hates those looks he gets in the hallways. Why in the hell would Eddie "The Freak" Munson want to be his friend? Especially after how Tommy would treat him.

His body stiffens at the mention of Nancy Wheeler. He would rather not hear her name if that were all possible but that's the joke, right? She left him for fucking Jonathan Byers.

Jesus Christ. ]

Think that weed has your head fucked up already, Munson.

[He makes a face at the mention of Tommy Hagan. It stings a bit to know that the two were friends once and that was something Steve had tossed out the window when it came to Nancy. Sometimes he can't help but wonder if the sacrifice was even worth it.

Because now? He was alone. ]

Sure he's too busy choking on Hargrove's dick to notice.

( Eddie rolls his eyes at Steve, but fixes him with an amused look. As if Eddie isn't a pretty known pothead and drug dealer and doesn't have a pretty decent tolerance. But even so, he knows that the likes of him doesn't usually tangle with the likes of Steve. His reasons are something he'd like to keep close to his chest. No matter how changed Steve seems to be, it's dangerous to be that truthful around here. )

Nah, not yet anyway.

( Speaking of choking, that's exactly what Eddie is doing at the mention of Billy and Tommy's apparent kinship. His eyes light up with even more amusement as his lips curve into a grin. )

I'd say make them notice but that might be a death sentence for us both, so maybe not.

[Steve fixes Eddie with a look right back. He's not about to admit it but Eddie’s overall charismatic personality is refreshing. The well known freak sure doesn't hesitate to speak his mind and oddly enough Steve has found himself appreciating the honesty. Steve doesn't know if Eddie will offer him any more moments like this, they were never in the same social crowd but just having someone to actually talk too that was around his own age had been pretty damn helpful.

Especially after how the past year has been. The huge breakup with Nancy, the fight with Byers, learning that the town has horrifying monsters and the huge fight with Billy. It's a wonder Steve hadn't went postal on the whole goddamn town.

It still feels a bit foreign to insult someone he used to call his best friend but his friend with Tommy had ended so abruptly. And for what? A girl that ended up cheating on him in the end. Despite their huge falling out, Steve was a bit offended when Tommy tucked his tail and ran straight to Billy. ]

They don't scare me.

[They never had. ]

( Eddie raises an eyebrow at Steve's declaration. Curious that they don't scare Steve, but there clearly is something out there that does. And maybe that's the point, that there is something out there that's scarier than a couple of high school bullies. )

Yeah, they never really scared me either, if we're being honest.

( Billy, maybe, he does seem like he doesn't know where to draw the line, but Tommy? Tommy always seemed harmless, more like a lapdog than someone with any real bite. )

Well, I'm glad you came over here, man. Even if it was just to, you know, buy drugs, don't usually get too many house calls these days.

[That's because there is something far worse out there than a couple of high school assholes and Steve has faced off with both. Billy might be a goddamn psychopath but he didn't have the ability to rip anybody apart with his own hands. He would rather bash you over the head with a plate. ]

Hargrove fights dirty and Tommy is nothing but mouth.

[Steve would take them both head on if that meant he would never have to face a damn demogorgon again. ]

Thanks for not asking a million questions because I needed to buy the drugs. Tried talking myself out of it but-

( That checks out. Billy never seemed like the type to fight fair, and Tommy never hassled him beyond what he could get away with. It's never a good idea to piss off your supplier, after all. )

Listen, I'm not gonna pretend I'm not worried, but, well. You really seem like you could use a pretty damn long vacation. And since I doubt you can do that, this is the next best thing.

[None of it really matters does it? Billy only seemed to have it out for Steve and Tommy wouldn't be stupid enough to go after the top supplier of Hawkins High if not all of Hawkins. At least in the back of his mind they better not go after Eddie.

Steve has no idea why that's a sudden concern now.

He scrunches his face at Eddie's voiced concern, followed by a shake of his head. Eddie doesn't need to concern himself with the likes of Steve Harrington. Save yourself, Munson.]

You know I wish I really could get the hell out of here as stupid as that sounds. Just say the hell with this place, the people, the bullshit.....

( Eddie's face softens when Steve talks about getting out of Hawkins. It's something Eddie has thought about often. Especially after being told he failed too many classes last year, would have to do senior year all over again. The absolute hell he had been put through when he showed up in September after being so certain he was done with this place, only to face the jocks that were all too happy to rub in just how much of a failure he is. )

That doesn't sound stupid at all. That's exactly what I want. Wish I didn't have to go to school anymore so I could just get the hell out of here.

( It isn't the first time he's mentioned that to anyone, but it surprises him how easily he admits it to Steve, who he would have expected to be one of those people rubbing it in his face, how much of a waste of space Eddie is. Now he just wonders what had happened to Steve to cause the change of heart. )

[Unfortunately Steve isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Come to find out he's too stupid for college and his dad has made sure to remind him how much of a failure he's been lately. He's also made it clear that Steve is going to have to get a real job and he isn't going to help his son come college wise. Steve can't say he isn't surprised but that doesn't make the sting of a harsh reality ease any less. Steve just feels worthless as much as he does humiliated.

Maybe this is his karma? Forever stuck as a loser in Hawkins.]

I was an idiot to think it would be that easy.

[He turns his gaze towards Eddie as the other admits that he wants the exact same thing. Say fuck Hawkins and find somewhere worthy of planting roots. A place that isn't full of cheating girlfriends, annoying alphas and terrifying monsters.]

for bigboyvibes

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