jonathan byers (
tiltshifts) wrote in
chitona2022-12-19 05:37 pm
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bigboyvibes
[ Will's disappearance has been slowly taking its toll on Jonathan. He can tell just how much it's tearing the family apart, with how detached his mother has been lately. He knows she partially blames him, for not being home. And with how absent she has been lately, that just leaves Jonathan to deal with the funeral arrangements.
He hates it. Part of him wants this all to be over with, to bury his brother and move on, but another part of him hopes that maybe his mother's right.
Maybe there is something more to this, maybe there's a chance Will could still be alive. But then that means he's in danger, and --
And the last thing he needs on top of everything else is to get in the middle of Nancy Wheeler and Steve Harrington's relationship. Those photos weren't meant to ever see the light of day, nor were Nancy and Steve ever supposed to even notice him. As much as he's been enjoying the sympathy from Nancy, he can tell by the way Steve sneers at him, that it's only a matter of time before the camera isn't the thing that gets destroyed.
He just doesn't expect that day to happen so soon. The next thing he knows, Jonathan's throwing a punch, defending Nancy's honor, despite the fact that Jonathan knows he's the last person who should be making any judgment calls after taking photos without their consent. But he's seeing red, and he just wants it to stop. ]
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Not the cops, just Hopper. He's been helping find Will.
( He lets his hand drop and then motions for them to head back to his car again. )
We can trust him. ( He pauses. ) I would say trust me, but I can't really expect you to trust me after everything. I wanna make it up to you, though, after all of this. ( He looks down at the ground, suddenly feeling shy. After all of this, as if Steve is going to want to keep talking to him after they find Will and figure out what happened with Barb, keeping Nancy safe. )
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If Joyce trusts Hopper and he's willing to help, well....[
Can we?
[He moves to follow Jonathan towards his car but his feet stop moving once Jonathan explains that he wants to make things up to Steve, that they should trust each other. It leaves Steve a bit baffled and he shoots Jonathan a look.]
Make it up to me?
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( He shrugs, and glances up at Steve. ) Well, yeah. It's my fault you're roped into this. And the thing with the pictures...it was a real dick move. I'm sorry, man.
( He looks away, though maybe not quickly enough before being able to hide the blush that starts forming on his face. ) Anyway, we should, uh, probably get going before Nancy gets herself into trouble.
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That was was terrifying thought.
Steve didn't expect for Jonathan to take fault for him now being apart of this goddamn nightmare. To admit those photos he had taken of Nancy without her consent was wrong as much as it was disgusting.
Steve wasn't any better in his own actions and he turns his head in shame at Jonathan's apology. Steve should be the one doing so after what he had said back in the ally. Instead he just moves to yank open the passenger's door to get inside.
The drive is uncomfortable as both boys sit in silence. The quite has Steve a bit jittery, shifting back and forth in the seat.
Fuck it. Man up to your shit, Harrington. Accept your shitty behavior and just-]
Sorry about your camera.
[Finally.
The words are spoken fast and low. Steve keeps his eyes forward and watches as blurry images pass.]
That was a dick move. I just-
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But it won't take them much longer before they reach the Wheelers, so he has to make this quick. )
Yeah...it sucked, I won't lie. I wish -- ( Jonathan pauses, because he knows it's stupid. Steve was surrounded by his friends, goading him, of course he wasn't going to just let it go, talk it out. They're both still stupid kids and Jonathan did something screwed up. ) I don't know, I just wish it could be different.
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Jonathan is right in the damn middle. Nancy is soft on him, Steve knows that for a fact and there is still that nagging suspicion that she really does like Jonathan more than a friend. Perhaps that's just Steve getting inside his own head again? He can still hear Tommy's voice hashing out hard and crude words about both Nancy and Jonathan. Shit, the graffiti had been all Tommy.
None of it matters now. Steve is certain he's lost Nancy for good. Jonathan's words leave Steve a bit puzzled. An eyebrow raised in slight confusion.)
Different?
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I wish we could've been able to talk everything out. But I guess there wasn't much I could say at that point that could make it better.
( Even if he and Nancy hadn't actually done anything, and even if the pictures weren't just of Nancy, Steve had every right to be angry at him. Nancy was partially to blame, sure, but Jonathan could have maybe done more to nudge her back to Steve.
Even worse, after everything a part of him still wished it had been Steve that had been kind and comforted him, even thought he knew there was no part of Steve that would have done such a thing, at least not without Nancy's help. Steve saw what he wanted to see. )
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How was Steve supposed to react to the pictures? To seeing the two together in Nancy's bedroom.)
I don't think that would have solved anything.
(But there was a chance that an actual conversation could have cleared up a few things, right?)
And for whatever reason she forgave you anyways for what you did. Like the whole goddamn incident just pulled you two closer like every fucking thing else.
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I'm sorry. I wish I could go back in time...stop myself from taking those pictures of you both.
( He realizes what he's said, but it's too late to take it back, or to try and change it to sound like he'd just been taking pictures of Nancy. He goes quiet, his face draining of color. Surely Steve would see right through him, realize that he was everything he said he was in that alley. )
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Steve still holds form in believing that his anger was valid. That he didn't over react with his anger.
from taking those pictures of you both.
A dead silence falls between the two teens and it feels like the air has been completely drained out of the vehicle. It's a wonder Steve didn't break his neck with how suddenly his head snaps to look at Jonathan. )
What did you just say?
(Jonathan doesn't need to repeat himself. Stevw heard him the first time. The accidental confession has Steve's blood boiling all over again. His expression hard, cold. )
You fucking took pictures of both of us getting undressed?
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Shit, even Jonathan can't look at Steve right now. His face turns bright red, and he feels tears start to well in his eyes, so he pulls over before it becomes too blurry to see. This isn't how he wanted any of this to go.
He wanted to get rid of the pictures before Steve or Nancy ever found out about them. He should never have developed them in the fucking school's darkroom like that. )
Y-yeah. I'm sorry, I -- ( He clenches his eyes shut, willing himself to stop panicking, but it's no use. ) It was stupid of me, I know, I don't know what I was thinking.
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Steve likes to think that maybe if the pictures had just been taken of him this scenario would have played out differently but he knows that wouldn't be the case. A guy doesn't just randomly take pictures of another guy getting undressed. It's not normal.
It's not....
Steve is infuriated, a hand aches just to deck Jonathan right in the mouth for invading his privacy but the very second Steve catches sight of glimmering tears his stomach suddenly sinks. It's evident in Jonathan's reaction that he understands what he did was breaking a huge boundary and he was making the effort to admit what he had done was wrong.
His apology was sincere.)
Who were you really trying to take pictures of?
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He needs to come clean, even if he's certain that it's not going to have a happy ending. How can it, when Steve has made it abundantly clear what he thinks about people like him? But if he keeps this inside, it's just going to keep gnawing away at him.
He knows that, but it doesn't make it any easier.
He stares straight ahead for a moment, before letting his head fall against the steering wheel. )
You, Steve. I was trying to take pictures of you.
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Sexually?
His finger nails dig into the passenger's seat as he waits for Jonathan to finally speak, to finally come clean about his true intentions. Steve feels sick and the world around him feels like it's spinning. Shit, he needs some air.
You, Steve. I was trying to take pictures of you.
There it is. Like a goddamn blow to the stomach. Oh shit.
Steve drops his own head into his hands, his mind trying to comprehend what in the hell is actually happening here. Jonathan Byers has a crush on him and all this time he thought the other boy was chasing after his girlfriend?
Christ. )
Why in the hell did you have to that? Why?! I assume everyone thinks you were checking out Nance. They have too....
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Nobody's seen them, nobody knows I took them, the girl in the darkroom, she only saw the ones of Nancy, so she assumed -- and, well, it was easier to let them all assume.
( It was easier to let Nancy assume. And while he likes the attention, and it's been welcome to have someone to comfort and support him while dealing with everything with his family, well...Nancy wasn't the one he had his eyes on. )
They're not going to find out, those pictures, they're...they're not going to see the light of day, I promise. I didn't, um. I didn't develop the negatives.
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Jonathan deserves it right?
Let it be known in this very moment Steve isn't concerned about himself but more about Jonathan's safety. Most people in Hawkins don't shy away from their opinion about a man being attracted to another man. Homophobia runs deep in the small town and nearly everyone has been taught its wrong, sinful and dirty. Jonathan wears the label of being weird, a freak. He doesn't need the word gay attached to his name. Not with the horror he's dealing with involving his brother.
The disappearance of Barb. It's too much for one person to carry along their shoulders.)
Best you better keep it that way and just let everyone think you're into Nancy. Nobody can hurt you then if they don't know.
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Yeah...easier that way.
( He tears his eyes away from Steve. He never expected Steve would ever reciprocate in a hundred years. He knows, being an outcast, that there just aren't that many people like him, and Steve has made it very clear he's interested in girls. Still, Jonathan can't help feeling a little disappointed. Maybe a little relieved, that his secret is out. Too many feelings cropping up at once, all struggling to rise to the surface. )
I"m not gonna...I mean she's nice and all, but...she should be with you.
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You got a better idea?
(Steve would rather forget about all of this. Ignore the fact that Jonathan has feelings for him, that he took inappropriate photos of Steve. Unfortunately it's not going to be easy just to pretend and forget the brutal truth that lingers over the two teens. At the mention of Nancy, Steve shifts uncomfortably. His own gaze years from Jonathan only to stare rather lifelessly out the window.)
If she'll forgive me.
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It's safer for everyone involved. )
No, I don't.
( He sighs as he avoids looking at Steve, even though he wants to so fucking badly. His eyes always seem to be drawn to him, just like every other girl in Hawkins High. )
She'll forgive you, man. She likes you. She...she only likes me because I was being nice to her, and helping her with Barb. When all of this is over, you'll see, she'll go back to you.
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Byers has a crush on him.
Jesus Christ. )
Maybe we can figure something else out later? When we can actually focus and think.
(When they aren't in the middle of a monster hunt. He lets out an annoyed sigh as Jonathan continues to go on about Nancy. Steve wants to believe that she'll want to get back together with him because she truly wants too but deep inside his gut he fears that's not her true intentions.)
Only because you might not be an option. She's-
She fucking likes you....
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Okay. Later. After all of this is over.
( He frowns, thinking about Nancy. How he wishes it were that easy. He hadn't meant for the wires to get so crossed, and it was easier letting Steve think that he was competition instead of...well, all of this, the jumbled mess that was the reality of the situation. )
Trust me, there's nothing special about me. ( He smiles self deprecatingly. ) She'll figure that out in the end.
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After all this.
(Regardless Jonathan's true intentions, their is a rift in Steve and Nancy’s relationship due to it. Steve isn't so sure he can mend them back together after everything that has happened, what was said and done.)
Obviously she seems something or else she would have walked away already.
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Steve can just go back to being with Nancy, Jonathan can let her down gently, and he'll find something -- someone -- else. But first, he needs to find Will, and put all of this to rest. )
If she, you know. If she knows there's not a chance for us? His voice wavers as he speaks. ( He'd trust Nancy with that bit of information. She isn't cruel like the others at school. ) Not that it matters because, well, you're not -- ( He stops himself, forces himself to look away, feeling like a fucking idiot for even talking about this. ) I mean, all she needs to know is that all we're ever gonna be is friends, right?
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That was the goal here and yet-
Jonathan fucking Byers.)
You know if you're comfortable you can talk to her about all of this, right? She isn't going to be cruel towards you. (Not like he had been back in the alley. Nancy was kind, she was accepting and caring. )
She's not going to blab about your secret. She's got a really pure heart. She's definitely way to good for someone like me.
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I'll think about it. First things first, though. Let's go get Nance and hunt this monster...yeah?
( Not that he's eager to face this thing head on, but every minute that ticks by is another minute that could potentially lead to Will's death. If he really is still alive, then Jonathan knows what he needs to do. )
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