for winnebagos

[thefreak]

[ as it turns out, leaving hawkins behind was a lot easier than eddie expected it to be. the hardest part was not saying goodbye. he knew if he set out to do this intentionally, if he announced it to the pack he would never be able to follow through with it. it was better this way, to pack a few bags and take his van to drive as far as his tank of gas will get him out of here.

armed with nothing but a stack of mixtapes and a vague idea of where he's headed, eddie finally runs away one last time. he ignores the ache in his chest and the way his whole self seems to be screaming at him to turn around. it's better this way, he tells himself. wayne won't have to deal with the delinquent jock assholes coming by to spray paint and wreck his van, and egg the trailer. maybe without him, the hellfire club can be rebranded and start anew. it's not like corroded coffin was going to go anywhere, not so long as the rumors surrounding eddie's cult leader status continued.

he knows dustin will never forgive him, but it's a price he's willing to take to finally get some peace of mind somewhere he can be truly anonymous. sure he can't exactly change his name, but he can settle somewhere out west where the name eddie munson doesn't cause a fight to break out.

he doesn't expect to miss steve. he doesn't expect to miss any of them, but he does. and since he never gave anyone his new address or phone number, it's not as if anyone can keep in touch. but every so often, his nightmares will take on a new shape, and instead of the bats coming to terrorize him, it's steve he sees, in lover's lake. steve, who's getting chewed alive but this time eddie's the only one who dives after him, and he's just a little too late.

that morning after he wakes up drenched in sweat, he dials steve's number without even thinking. but when he hears the voice on the other end, eddie realizes what he's doing and hangs up without saying a word. and later, when he's at work and he catches sight of a burgundy bmw, eddie will pretend that his blood doesn't run cold in shameful fear, even though there's no way that can be steve, not when he heard his damn voice mere hours ago. but that doesn't stop his hands from trembling as he tries to focus on the tune-up he's supposed to be doing on the dodge challenger in front of him. ]

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[thefreak]

[ it's easier than he thinks, to imagine dustin's reaction, to finding out eddie is alive and well several hundred miles away. still within driving distance, so not completely isolated, but isolated enough that the assholes that were still convinced of his guilt wouldn't come and look for him.

at least, he hopes word doesn't get out where he's moved to. he knows it's not likely that steve will let that slip, but dustin? dustin does sometimes forget the volume of his voice, or when to keep certain subjects under wrap. ]

I miss that small fry. [ he smiles to himself as he turns to look at steve, his breath hitching when he realizes that they're a little bit closer than he thought they would be. but he knows fully well that he's the only one having these thoughts, so he tries to keep his face looking as neutral as he can. ]

You should bring him. And anyone else who wants to come with. [ and then he chews on his lip as he thinks carefully of his next words. ] How have they all been doing?

[winnebagos]

( the way eddie smiles when he talks about dustin creates a spot of warmth in steve's chest. it's knowing exactly how eddie feels when he says he misses dustin. steve would feel the same if he suddenly skipped town. but it could also be the way eddie's smile softens his features. the way the sunlight slanting through the wide open door hits the side of his face. the way his hair curls against his forehead. things steve didn't realize he missed seeing.

then eddie asks him a question, and steve sucks in a breath, lets it out slowly as he thinks. he scratches the side of his face. ) Uhh, fine? You know, a lot better now that the world's not in danger of ending.

( for now, at least. who knows how long that's going to last this time. )

The kids are all as annoying as ever. Robin's been spending a lot of time with...a new friend. Vickie. ( steve lowers his hand to his knee. the other arm rests on his outstretched thigh. ) Nancy... ( he feels another pang in his chest. different from the one he felt a second ago. less of a pleasant ache, more of a dull throb. ) Well, she and Jonathan've been spending a lot of time together. So...your advice didn't really work out.

( but there's no hint of an accusation in his voice. and when he looks at eddie, it's with a small, self-deprecating smile. )

[thefreak]

( seemingly oblivious as to the thoughts steve is having, eddie focuses on everything that his friend tells him. about robin, about the kids, about nancy. he feels his heart ache, yearning to go back home but deep down he feels like he's made the right choice. it's not like steve or the others could have kept him protected forever.

still, it gets awfully lonely here on his own. eddie hasn't made any attempts to put himself out there, especially with all of his scars, and being hung up on one person in particular does make it a little difficult to want to flirt with anyone else.

his eyes glisten at the mention of vickie, though. ) A new friend, huh? ( it's not as if eddie had a chance to outright talk to robin, but it's easy to spot one of your own. he doesn't press for confirmation, though. he knows he wouldn't want steve outing him, even accidentally.

but then steve mentions nancy, and eddie frowns, that ache in his chest turning into something sour. he had pushed the two of them together partially because he didn't think he stood a chance. steve is painfully straight, or so eddie assumes, and really he just wanted to see steve happy. he thought for a moment there that nancy made him happy. )

Sorry. I guess I thought, you know. When she hopped in there after you? I just assumed, you know? To me, I couldn't fathom anyone jumping in after you unless they were still deeply in love with you, but uh. Yeah, why anyone would take that kind of advice from me... ( he joins steve in the self-deprecating smile department. )